Lately, I have been trying to pray for my future husband. I have run into only one small problem: I don't think he exists. However, I reason that I shouldn't let my own disbelief prevent my genuine prayer for a man who may exist despite my disbelief in him.
Why would it hurt me to pray for a man that I don't believe exists? Perhaps because it forces me to see what I really believe--or don't believe. Perhaps because it brings me face to face with ideas that may be insecurities, that may be lies, that may be truth. I've heard that I should pray for those who hurt you, and perhaps this man who does not exist has hurt me with his nonexistence. Rather a silly idea. But I pray anyway.
I pray for grace in this imaginary man's life~for an understanding of love not based on works. For strength and perseverance in God's work. For hope and conviction of God's presence in this imaginary life. For always increasing wisdom beyond his years, and the healing of sin scars. I pray that he would be down to earth but able to see dreams of God glory. I pray for this imaginary man to have a passion for the least of these and a bold spirit for justice and truth.
And finally, I pray that God would make me a ready helper for this imaginary man. That I would have grace for his mortality beyond what I know how to have. That I would always be an encouragement in his life~a life that will be full of discouragements and trials that we will only overcome out of God's abundant grace for the imaginary us. I pray that I will learn now the things I will need to know, that I may be a strong support, having hope that perseveres. I pray that we would be faithful parents of our imaginary children, raising them in an imaginary home that is filled with grace for all of our falterings and failures.
The only thing that seems real in my prayers, is my prayer.
Grace and God's glory? These are things that are never imagined.
I have been praying for my husband since at least fourth grade. As I just arrived home from babysitting at what is over 30 weddings that I've been involved with in one way or ten :-) (bridesmaid, photographer, coordinator, musician, or combinations thereof) I have to say that over the years, I've wondered at times if there was any 'point' to all these years of prayer for a man that might not exist...and have come to the conclusions that 1.) I don't *really* get how prayer works with other things, but I obey, trust God, and do it by faith, knowing that He commands it, and by it, He allows me to be a part of the work He is doing; 2.) prayer is *never* a bad thing...it in NO way is negative or harmful to pray (much as you've mentioned), period; and 3.) it's God's business of what to do with those prayers, and I am trusting that He IS working through them one way or another, even if I never see the specifics of how on This Side of Home.
ReplyDeleteKeep praying, Sweet Elise. Don't stop. God is ever Faithful. he is always worth it. <3