Lately, I have been trying to pray for my future husband. I have run into only one small problem: I don't think he exists. However, I reason that I shouldn't let my own disbelief prevent my genuine prayer for a man who may exist despite my disbelief in him.
Why would it hurt me to pray for a man that I don't believe exists? Perhaps because it forces me to see what I really believe--or don't believe. Perhaps because it brings me face to face with ideas that may be insecurities, that may be lies, that may be truth. I've heard that I should pray for those who hurt you, and perhaps this man who does not exist has hurt me with his nonexistence. Rather a silly idea. But I pray anyway.
I pray for grace in this imaginary man's life~for an understanding of love not based on works. For strength and perseverance in God's work. For hope and conviction of God's presence in this imaginary life. For always increasing wisdom beyond his years, and the healing of sin scars. I pray that he would be down to earth but able to see dreams of God glory. I pray for this imaginary man to have a passion for the least of these and a bold spirit for justice and truth.
And finally, I pray that God would make me a ready helper for this imaginary man. That I would have grace for his mortality beyond what I know how to have. That I would always be an encouragement in his life~a life that will be full of discouragements and trials that we will only overcome out of God's abundant grace for the imaginary us. I pray that I will learn now the things I will need to know, that I may be a strong support, having hope that perseveres. I pray that we would be faithful parents of our imaginary children, raising them in an imaginary home that is filled with grace for all of our falterings and failures.
The only thing that seems real in my prayers, is my prayer.
Grace and God's glory? These are things that are never imagined.
